A psychiatrist goes postal. I’m not surprised. As a psychiatrist and a keen observer of the descent of our society over the past 40 years or so, it is clear to me that all things are possible.
People are capable of acting out their conflicts and aggressions in all sorts of spectacularly outrageous and deeply disturbed ways, which demonstrate a severe lack of insight as well as mind-boggling self-destructiveness.
These days, anybody has the capacity to go postal at any time. We might as well get used to it and not be surprised by it, because being surprised could be hazardous to our health.
Not being surprised means being aware of what’s going on around us. The more attention we pay to potential red flags popping up, the better chances we have to react effectively.
With the psychiatrist who perpetrated the Fort Hood massacre, there were warning signs which, perhaps, were sufficiently downplayed or ignored such that he didn’t get the kind of help that might have enabled him to avoid the actions he took.
There are warning signs everywhere, particularly in our relationships, and we don’t see them because we’ve got blinders on and we’re into denial, or we see them and ignore them with a variety of rationalizations.
The bottom line is we don’t address them. The warning signs come and go, and before we know it the relationship has reached critical mass and is near total meltdown and all the kings horses and all the kings men are unlikely to put the relationship back together again.
By ignoring warning signs, the resentments and antagonisms build to the point of no return, and what might have been salvaged if both people were paying attention, goes away painfully.
Take-home message: Forewarned is forearmed.
We can repair relationships that are failing. By developing effective communication skills, we can mediate disagreements while validating each other, and without diminishing ourselves.
So look for the warning signs. Have the courage to address them and maintain a calm mind while doing so, so as to be most effectively heard.
When we pay attention to the warning signs, we are choosing to be proactive and not a victim. By doing so, we are increasing our potential to steer our relationships and our lives in the most positive directions.
4 Comments
I agree with you on everyone’s responsibility for noticing warning signs. (I particularly liked your take on shared culpability in Michael Jackson’s death.) However, “a psychiatrist going postal” hardly addresses the unique combination of circumstances that led to the profound tragedy at Fort Hood.
Maj. Hasan, who enlisted just out of high school, was trained by the Army to treat warriors. Army mental health treatment in wartime probably means keeping as many warriors as possible combat-ready for as long as possible. What are the chances that anyone at an Army base (especially a deployment center) would notice the “warning signs” if the psychiatrist himself was having a spiritual and mental health crisis? I suspect most mental health issues, especially depression, are considered signs of weakness in the military culture. And wouldn’t the psychiatrist be capable of effectively masking his own symptoms for professional reasons?
Hasan was isolated and ostracized because of his faith. He sought a discharge because of his resultant internal conflict. He even offered to pay the Army back for his training. The Army’s wartime stop-loss program kept him in. Personally, I think war and positive mental health may be somewhat mutually exclusive, but I do honor those who serve and I realize “conducting a war” requires a completely different worldview than mine. Still I consider Army policy and practice at least partially culpable at Fort Hood.
Didn’t intend to be glib or minimize complexity of this tragedy. I was more interested in using the event as a jumping off point for my discussion about warning signs in relationships. I’m glad you did wish to discuss it. Thanks for your cogent comments.
I totally understood that you were using the tragedy at Ft. Hood as a springboard for reflecting on our own personal relationships. I also agree with the descent of our society over the past 40 years AND still declining so when something like this tragedy occurs, we should hardly be surprised because this has become a mainstay in the fabric of our current society.
There are always warning markers in our relationships and in the behavior of others — maybe we just choose to not see them or to just ignore what we do see. It’s a lot easier that way. Then when the inner-to-outer explosion happens, we are dumbfounded. “He was such a quiet man, a good father and husband and then one day, he came home from work and killed his whole family. Who knew????” Should we really be THAT
surprised?
When I was teaching high school, I had a kid with attitude come in late on the first day of school. Without missing a beat, I wrote on the blackboard, “Fore-
warned is forearmed.” I was prepared for him and although nothing came of it, I have always believed that adage to be true… and effective.
It is always to our advantage to be aware of what’s happening around us as best as we can and act or react accordingly.
Not dealing with problems in relationships is a form of procrastination. Unfortunately, the more we procrastinate, the more the relationship deteriorates and approaches that critical mass.