Living in the Now & Then

We talk about the present moment as if we actually have a clear idea of what it’s like to live in the Now. We don’t. As children, with our innocence and spontanaety, we knew how to do that. As adults, we have forgotten. We need to be reminded.

We need to re-discover the Now for ourselves, because we’re really missing the party. What we are calling the Now is actually the “Now & Then.” Why? Because we bring our baggage from the past into the present moment.

We bring our judgments, experiences, prejudices, biases, resentments, and grievances from the past and throw them on top of whatever’s going on in the present, such that it’s no longer the present moment we’re experiencing, it’s a combination of the past mixed in with the present.

Consequently, we are not perceiving people as they are, we are seeing and reacting to them as we perceived them in the past, with all our judgments and grievances, which contributes to miscommunication, misunderstandings and the furthering of resentments and other negativities.

We do all of this as a survival mechanism, a defense mechanism, so that we can anticipate as much as possible, predict and control as much as possible, so that we won’t get hurt by the world and its chaos.

Unfortunately, this tends not to make us feel any safer or more secure. Additionally, it shuts  down our spontanaety. It shuts down the intuitive process. It shuts down our awareness of opportunities and potentials synchronistically delivered to us as answers to our prayers. If we are not in the moment how can we be receptive to its gifts?

So what do we do to be in the Now?

1) We try to see people as they really are, not through the eyes of the past. We put aside our judgments and grievances.  We remind ourselves that there is another way of looking at any situation.

We try to experience the people, places and things in our lives in the Now without critical analysis. We can do all the analyzing and interpreting later at some other time devoted specifically to thinking and evaluating our experiences.

2) Forget about smelling the roses. We need to smell the entire universe. And so we make a special effort in every moment of Now to experience it, to be attentive to all the sensations entering our consciousness.

This not only centers us and balances us, it also affords us the opportunity to receive intuitive as well as extra-sensory perceptions. As we quiet the mind, we remove the filters to its natural awareness of these components of reality.

A corollary of this is to avoid multi-tasking whenever possible because when our attention is divided amongst many activities or concerns, being in the Now is impossible. So we decide to do one thing and put all our intention and attention into it, avoiding all other distractions and mental considerations.

3) We remind ourselves that there is nothing to fear. In the present moment, in the Now, we are not threatened, we are safe.

Looking For Success in All the Wrong Places

In these difficult and confusing times where success is synonymous with winning, achieving, acquiring money and power, we tend to forget that perhaps the greatest success a human being might aspire to is that of living a life of decency, integrity, honor and commitment to ideals of truth, compassion, generosity and selflessness.

In our desire to win, to succeed, to prosper, we tend to prioritize competition and the “every man for himself” mentality, and endorse the concept that there are times when it’s necessary to step on other people in order to get ahead, that all is fair in love, war and business as well.

It’s not. If we win at the expense of others, it’s not winning. It’s losing. And only our spiritual shortsightedness prevents us from seeing this. We need to establish consistency between our spiritual and business worlds, not dualities and double standards. How we treat other people should be the measure of our success.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating poverty as some spiritual benchmark. It’s okay to be rich. It’s okay to win and succeed, to have money and power. But we need to maintain our ethical, moral and spiritual values as we’re doing so. We need to remember our obligation to our families, our communities, our societies and our world.

It is not appropriate to “let them eat cake.” It is not appropriate to have massive excesses of money and resources and not share a generous portion with those who have less than we do. If we are not our brother’s keeper in the sense of watching out for those less fortunate and helping them to better their lives, then we may be rich monetarily but poor in spirit. And maybe, just maybe, that matters.

It is, after all, not a stretch to believe that our world and its financial institutions have decayed to such a state of dysfunction and disrepair because of the failure of our leaders to insist that morals, principles, generosity and fairness be part of the success-in-business equation.

That being the case, it now becomes critical that we rebuild our institutions with the mortar of truth, compassion and generosity, appreciating the fact that perhaps no sustainable success is possible if the foundations of our institutions are fortified by unethical practices, selfishness and greed.

Let each of us rise above the business battlefield and rebuild our country and our world in ways we can be proud of, by refusing to make business and career choices that are ethically and humanistically questionable and don’t take into consideration the effects they will have on our planet and our planetary brothers and sisters.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

“All you need is love” perhaps epitomizes the thousands of songs, movies, plays, books, articles, etc. which share the common theme that with love, anything is possible.

Believing in this message or wanting desperately to believe this message is true, we seek love, we strive to find a mate, someone to fill the loneliness, provide us with shelter from the storm, and give us the strength to move mountains.

The question is: for those who succeed at finding love, does the attainment enable them to transcend the lack and limitations in their lives? Does love conquer all? For some, perhaps. For most, I think not.

It seems to me, for the most part, love can’t even keep us together let alone help us solve our problems. That’s because we’ve been looking for love under the wrong bushel basket. We need to look within.

I’m not suggesting people put a halt to their quest for loving companions. I’m suggesting that finding one is the icing on the cake. First we must bake the cake. First we must appreciate that there is a fountain of infinite love inside each of us that we are unaware of, that we are blocking our own access to, that is connected to the limitless abundance of the universe.

We unconsciously block our access to the truth of what we are, Love and nothing else, because of deeply-embedded guilt, shame and, above all, fear, which are generated by our ego.

While our ego distracts us and consumes us with chasing love in the guise of one person, one body after another, we avoid the true path to our Love and its creative power, which is to extend compassion, acceptance and forgiveness to others unconditionally, no exceptions, no special circumstances.

As we stop finding fault with others, as we stop being rigid and judgmental, as we choose to be more sympathetic, empathetic and understanding, as we give and share all of our emotional, physical, material and spiritual assets with others unconditionally, without any need of acknowledgment or reward of any kind, the Light of our Love inside of us will shine brighter and brighter.

The more we engage in these behaviors of loving others in order to connect with the infinite power of love inside ourselves, the more we will manifest growth, healing, recovery, creativity and prosperity in our lives beyond our wildest dreams.

We don’t need love. We are Love. Hold that thought.

Paying Attention at the Beginning of Relationships

When we first meet someone we are strongly attracted to, there is that “honeymoon” phase where we are filled with infatuation and excitement. It is very exhilarating as the other person makes us feel very special and important. It is a wonderful time.

It is also an illusory time, because out of our need to bond, to find someone special who will love us, we overlook the flaws and red flags which crop up, hoping that they are minor blips on our radar screen which will prove insignificant as the relationship evolves.

This is a mistake.  When we see the handwriting on the wall, we should not let our loneliness and our need for nurturing and love, get in the way of reality, which is that the person we are enamored with is presenting a facade, a mask of perfection.

Over time, as the facades and masks are removed, we discover who that person really is, with all their emotional scars and character blemishes. We discover there are real problems with compatibility and long-term joy, love and satisfaction.

Eventually, one of two things happen. We either break up, deal with the grieving and the loss, the anger and the resentments. Or we stay with that person and suffer a relationship of disappointment and unfulfillment.

In either case, we are left with unhappiness and the awareness that we have wasted a tremendous amount of time barking up the wrong relationship tree. In either case it occurs to us that had we not done the “head over heels” maneuver, oblivious to the mistakes that can occur when we do so, and had we not swept the warning signs and red flags under our emotional rug, we wouldn’t be in the position we find ourselves in.

So what do we do? When we meet someone new, we must allow ourselves time to truly get to know the person behind the facade before we commit our heart and hearth.

We must be willing to look at the concerns that crop up and we must communicate them to our partner, and see if there is room for compromise and resolution. If our partner gets defensive and angry, unwilling to own or even look at what we’ve brought to the table, it’s time, right then and there, to get up from the table, and move on to the next buffet.

As painful as it is to move on from a relationship that could be so great “if only…”, it is necessary that we do so, in order to avoid wasting our time, energy and other resources.

We must have the courage and the strength to move on and look elsewhere, despite the loneliness we experienced prior to the recent magic and despite the efforts that we’ll have to put into searching for someone new.

If we do so, the pain and loss of the current relationship will be minimized, and the potential to find someone else more appropriate and long-lasting will be greatly increased.

A Spiritual Bucket List

Several people have recently informed me that they are putting together a “bucket list” — a “wish list” of things they’ve always dreamed of doing but never got around to.

This certainly is understandable. People want to make the most out of their lives. What I find fascinating is the underlying assumption that, in order to make the most out of our lives, we must attempt daring and bold feats of power and passion.

What if this isn’t true? What if “making the most out of our lives” isn’t about amassing more experiences which glorify the body and fan the flame of ego and self-satisfaction?

What if our spirit, our consciousness, our soul is immortal, invulnerable and eternal, and that our only purpose for being here is to understand that we are all One, we are all connected, that we must “love ye one another,” that there is nothing else to do, nothing else to amass, nothing else to accomplish? If that’s the case, are we really making the best use of our remaining time here by doing more rather than being more?

That being said, I suggest that for every bucket list entry of attempting to accomplish something physical, we include one entry of attempting to accomplish something spiritual. I suggest a spiritual bucket list.

What might be on that list?

We might choose to engage in behaviors that could awaken us to truth and perceptions that have been hidden from our consciousness by our drive for material and physical mastery. Perhaps:

* A one year program of daily meditation and/or yoga.
* A one year program of abstinence from alcohol and drugs.
* A one year program of vegetarianism.

We might choose to engage in behaviors that unite us rather than divide us by finding:

* Ways to see the good in people despite the negative things they’ve done.
* Ways to forgive people we’ve refused to forgive.
* Ways to repair a relationship that has been damaged or broken.

Perhaps it would behoove us to put on the list:

* Ways to be more of a role model of right action.
* Ways to be more of an achiever of good works that promote communication, compassion, peace, cooperation, prosperity and well-being for all.
* Ways to be more of service to others by giving our money, time and energy to the causes and needs of others without any regard for acknowledgment, thanks, compensation or consideration of any kind.

Perhaps each of us, as we compile our bucket list prior to heading off to that Great Big Google in the Sky, should remind ourselves of what Horace Mann once said: “Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.”